You never know how much you miss something until it's gone. You never realize how important some things are until you need them.

Last night I went to Neu+ral and I saw her again. Almost went up to her, just to see the look on her face but that sort of action leans too much on the agressive side of the passive-agressive scale.

I left, went to some dive bar on 42nd, brought him back home, faked an orgasm and told him to have a good night.

What else is new?

myself

Baby understand I never meant to hurt you
And I realized the way that I mistreat you
I'm thinking of all the things, that I could've done
Shouldve, made you believe, that, you were the one
To see you walk away caught me by suprise
I guess you meant more to me than I realized
I wish, I could go back but, what's done is done
So now I guess it's times that we try to move on
I know I shouldve been right there
That was my mistake
Girl I ain't tryna change your mind
I know it's much too late

Just know that, I wasn't tryna push you away
All I ever wanted, was you to stay
And before you up and leave
I just need you to see
Losing you was not a part of the plan
Know that, I wasn't tryna push you away
And before you go
Just let me say, I'm sorry I could'ntbe that boy
But please believe
All I wanted was...
All I wanted was to be your man

I thought I needed time and space
But seeing you walk away
Has made me realize this isnt
How it was supposed to be... ya yeaa

96 lbs. 10 more to go.
( ugly inside. )

fat.fat.
fat.
fat.
fat.
fat.

september 11 was two days ago.
5 years and two days ago my father died.
i had almost forgotten.

There are people screaming outside and it's midnight and I can't seem to get any sleep. There are screeching tires and loud stereos and all I've got is a half-empty bottle of Livingston, a rather sharp pencil and a rather empty piece of paper. Insomnia seems to be creeping up on me as well. I seem to have spilled some wine all over my shirt. Outside, I can see everyone falling; inside I'm doing the same.